dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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