Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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