I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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