sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
