I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
