Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
