I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
