so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
