my vag is so smooth its legendary
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
