i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
