I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
he just fucked me for my cheese.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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