Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
