she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
