were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
