Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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