Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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