We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
