Who wears a wallet chain?!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
