Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
