he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
