Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Barsexuality is the new black.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Farmville is her only friend.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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