For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I will pee on everything he values.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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