yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
