the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
