she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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