I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
