Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
