I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
