What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
