It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
