she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
