Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
