oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
