Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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