Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
