trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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