Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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