I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
