You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
