Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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