some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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