so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
