yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
