what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
