then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
