We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
