Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
