Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
