..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
