Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
