she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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