it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
